Ways to teach gratitude to our kids when it is hard

The smell of chai tea, pumpkins, changing leaves and the crisp air means it’s fall. I love this time of year for all these things, but I also love that this is the holiday season. Each holiday brings its own fun and focus, and I love celebrating each one, but thanksgiving to me is one of my favorites because the focus is on family and gratitude. The holiday is simple compared to all that is going on, but the importance should not be overlooked. When it comes to what I want to teach my kids and what I hope to embrace gratitude is on the top of the list which is why I love a holiday focused on being thankful.  

Did you know that it’s hard to be grateful and mad at the same time? Gratitude can literally shift our focus to the positive and change our mood, attitude, and perspective. I believe it is so important that it is how I start and end our day as a family. When we start our day with a grateful heart it shifts our mood and allows us to embrace all that we have been given and helps us to have a positive attitude throughout the day. Being grateful is an active practice that can have a big impact on our overall happiness. Even when things are hard, I believe, there is always something to be grateful for and focusing on the little things with gratitude can help us walk through both the good and hard times. 

Military life is constant change and while there are a lot of blessings, we all know it is a challenging life and we must walk through a lot of hard times. There are deployments, moves, job changes, school changes and worry that come with being a military spouse. There is a lot of hard which is why I have found simple acts of gratitude have made a big difference through it all. Here are some of the little things our family has done to focus on gratitude.

1. We have found that when we start each day with gratitude it can transform our attitudes. We say three things we are grateful for each morning, and this helps set the tone for the rest of the day. We try to acknowledge kindness and be grateful for even small things. Noticing the small things really can add up to big things. The flowers in bloom, a kind word from a friend, a warm bed or hot meal all may seem small, but they have a big impact on our lives and should be celebrated. 
2. Each November we send out gratitude letters. We make a list of who has been kind to our family, buy some fun stationary and write old fashioned letters. A simple letter will not only impact the person who receives it, but the act of writing the letter helps make us feel more grateful and able to embrace the positive. This little act really can have a big impact and is a fun way to focus on gratitude and spread some love. 
3. We have a dry erase board and focus on a different family member each week. I write the person chosen across the board and everyone else in the family writes things they love about them and then we share the following Sunday at dinner. It is fun for all of us to realize all the great things about our loved one and so special for the person being featured. 
4. Create a gratitude list. Have everyone write someone or something they are thankful for. You could have little papers that they write on and put in a jar to open on New Year’s Day like we have done in the past or simply do it each week or each month. You could have a big chalkboard list and have each family add to it. By creating a list of people and things we are grateful for we are shifting our focus to the positive and our attitudes shift as well. 
5. Gratitude journals are so helpful, and I have given one to each of my kiddos and keep one myself. During the day or when things are especially hard, I tell them to grab their journal and write 3 things they are grateful for. It can shift the mood immediately. We end our day and start our morning writing in our journals.  
6. If we want to teach gratitude, then serving is an important part of that process. When we donate our things or our time to those that are in need, we start to notice all that we have, and gratitude grows. The act of volunteering and service is a critical part of learning and practicing gratitude. 

There are so many ways to express gratitude and little things really do add up so whether you start a journal, write a letter, or volunteer I hope that you start noticing all the beauty around you and expressing gratitude in an intentional way. Gratitude is an act that will have an impact on us and everyone around us and when we are intentionally grateful, we seem to become happy and feel more blessed.  

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As CEO for Inspirational Inc. and founder of “Tea With Chantel” trainings & workshops, Chantel Mathson inspires women to live with purpose and build thriving community. Shehas traveled all over the U.S. and Canada, speaking and inspiring others to become impact makers. Chantel has been a featured speaker at NASA Space Center, The University of Notre Dame and numerous national conferences. She is a keynote speaker, workshop facilitator, blogger, bible teacher, military spouse mentor, author, and professor of communications. Chantel shares her heart and home with her husband, three kids and two dogs in California. As a Military spouse she has moved twelve times and has a heart for helping military wives connect, find their purpose, and create community. Her Tea with Chantel business evolved as she moved across the country and had to create new community herself. She is always ready to share a cup of tea and would love to connect…  FB/Twitter/Linkedin/IG @teawithchantel or Instagram.com/teawithmilitarywives and teawithchantel.com